Surgery 2 scheduled JK

morphineI met with my previous surgeon, Dr. M, who asked, “Why is this happening so soon?”  Shouldn’t you be the one telling me that?  Dr. M said she would consult with Dr. P and the surgery scheduler would call me back.

Adapted (with typos) from an e-mail to the six-pack:

This is not the same thread.  I have another surgery.  I can’t believe it either and they don’t know what’s causing it.  I’ve felt okay since the last surgery, although still fatigued and fainting occasionally, but Saturday morning I was hit by intense pain and nausea.  Surgery, appendicitis, chronic cyst pain were all easy comparably.  We immediately went to the ER (I crawled) and got some sweet morphine and zofran.  They found a 3 inch hemmoraghic cyst.  Since it can twist and kill the ovary, it has to be removed.  I’m being scheduled for this week or next week.  I’m super sad but hoping to participate in short bits of celebrating Rose’s nuptials and Lola’s baby shower.  Hope for a sooner surgery!

Thank you for all your support last time!  (You don’t have to send flowers every time I have a surgery ha.)

One day later:

An update to all your questions and good news!  Thanks for all your well wishes!

They brought me in to see Dr. P today who has endometriosis, smaller cysts she chose not to remove.  Basically, I trust her more.

The pain has diminished to where I’m only uncomfortable without narcotics and so doc thinks the cyst may be dissolving and will go away on its own.  We’re going to take a watch and wait approach to surgery and if the pain worsens or I can’t work without narcotics, surgery is necessary.  I’m trying not to get too hopeful, also hoping this isn’t delaying surgery to coincide with bachelorette/baby/wedding weekend!!!!!.  

She does think I have endometriosis and retroactive bleeding up through my uterus, through Fallopian tubes, and collecting on ovaries.  [Editor’s note: retroactive bleeding a theory which endometriosis specialists no longer endorse.  But how was I to know at the time?]  Every time a surgery occurs, the ovaries get more sticky and are more likely to collect blood and form cysts.  Three is the max amount before they’re scarring your ovaries too much.

If this works, my best bet to stop the cysts is to get pregnant.  [Editor’s note: ahahahhahaha]  After three months of trying with no success, I’ll get a series of panels done, including thyroid for fatigue.  I do get more fatigued because I bleed more.  Fainting can be caused by the cyst pressing on the equivalent of a faint button in your body.  I’ve also gone to a nutritionist as part of the Celiac treatment and take vitamins for deficiencies caused by it.  I’ll have an HSG which is an in office procedure to flush the dried blood out of the Fallopian tubes, which will allow the egg to travel freely to the uterus.  After that, they will assess if clomid or insemination are needed.

So I feel very relieved, but still cautious.  I’m glad I have more of a treatment plan rather than going into a surgery with no guarantee of it not happening again.

Love y’all!


Do I have a bundle of joy on the way or am I dying? Which.


Mia Sara as Dark Lili in Legend

My period was 7 days late, and it was NEVER late.  I had all the symptoms: bloating, tender breasts, urinary urgency.  A pregnancy test was negative but it can take a bit for hCG to be detected.  I was woken in the morning by a sharp pain on my right flank and went to the bathroom, starting to feel nauseated.  “Is this morning sickness?!” I thought in delight.  I searched Dr. Google for how soon symptoms could start and then soon switched my search to nausea relief.  Then I started to think, “if this is morning sickness, I no longer want a child.”  Five minutes have passed.

I started to feel like bodily fluids were going to come out of two orifices, but there was only one toilet.  A quandary.  Nothing comes out.  Covered in sweat, shaking, I alternated between sitting on the toilet and lying on the cool tile of the bathroom floor.  No position was comfortable.  As a doula, the fact that I could not sit on my tailbone without leaping up in pain, imitating a late stage of labor, should have alerted me to the fact that the pain level was high.  I knew I needed to go the emergency room, but then I was not sure how I was going to make it to the emergency room.  Ambulances are expensive, no thanks.  My husband, Trent, was sleeping soundly in the adjoining bedroom.  This is why I now keep summoning bells on the toilet.  The bells are antique and brass, very Joanna Gaines.  I moaned loudly at Trent.  I have seen husbands paralyzed while their wife experiences labor pain, but we prepared for this moment together.  My husband was not prepared.

Trent’s take: “You were on the floor in the bathroom.  You said you needed help.  ‘Help me, I’m on the floor.’  I had no idea what was happening.  You explained you were in an intense amount of pain, you couldn’t move, and we needed to get the hospital bag ready immediately, you needed to go to the emergency room.”

In my recollection, Trent insisted I get off my new home, the bathroom floor, because the bed was more comfortable.  He would not let go of this notion.  I argued with him while every word caused me pain and precious energy and then I had to explain why arguing was not helpful and please just do as I say.  My directions were all moan-shouted.  Trent called my PCP and the on-call nurse gave some good advice: if you cannot walk upright due to pain, go to the emergency room immediately.  I think some Aleve and leftover Zofran from my last surgery got me into clean clothing and we were off.

Have you ever experienced active/transition labor in a car?  Speed bumps are awful.

I do not know why I allowed Trent to park instead of dropping me off at the ER entrance but I did not want to be left alone.  Trent dragged me inside.  After getting vitals, we were immediately placed in a private room and I was given a dose of Morphine and Zofran.  Our room shared a wall with the ER bathroom.  I think the universe placed a man in there to amuse me.  The last thing you want to hear when you’re nauseated is another person violently and continuously throwing up for thirty minutes straight, and yet, this was happening.  I tried to use the restroom at one point and there was a police officer stationed outside so I assumed it was some sort of overdose/psychiatric/arrested while on K2 situation.  Later use of the restroom confirmed the vomit explosion I heard earlier.

I was wrapped in warm blankets like the happiest burrito and wheeled away for a vaginal ultrasound.  The technician asked me if I still had my right ovary.  Not a good sign.  Why, can you not SEE it?  The ER physician also did a physical exam, poking me painfully in the abdomen.  Good news: no ovarian torsion.  Bad news: the cyst you had drained in August is back and at 3 cm.  The physician explained the cyst may be rupturing or leaking and this was causing the pain.  We were in shock as we had been actively trying to conceive and move forward with our lives.  How naive we were.  The nurse asked if I needed more morphine before leaving and I refused, convinced I could totally handle this.  MISTAKE.  Always get the to-go morphine.  I was discharged in the afternoon with more Zofran and Tylenol 3.

The worst part?  I missed Halloween, my fave holiday!  I had slowly and lovingly accumulated pieces of my costume and crafted with glitter glue for the past year.  I was finally going to be Dark Lili from Legend!  Although Trent refused to be the Tim Curry devil, ugh.  I felt really good about my body after years of malnutrition and a few months of gut healing.  You’ve got to be confident to pull off that deep V!  Alas, I could not move for the next three days.  For instance: my mom came into town the next day to drop off my teenage cousin who would be living with us while trying to find work and an apartment.  (Welcome to this new state!  I’m a mess!  Fend for yourself!)  Moving my arms to hug my mom caused intense pain, as well as tears.  We sobbed and held one another.  We thought my health issues were under control, but they were just beginning.