As a couples counselor, it’s no surprise that I support counseling at every stage in life, as maintenance and during crisis. Premarital (we did it), prenatal (I offer it), postpartum. It is more difficult when issues fester for years, but there’s always hope as long as all partners are open to trying. Even though counseling can be difficult, draining work, you also get to witness your partner being vulnerable and learn what hurt them as a child and continues to wound them. Your love and empathy deepens. It’s fucking beautiful.
I did couples counseling with the amazing John Palmer to process a breakup and the session was LITERALLY a miracle. I let go of my belief that I did not deserve a happy relationship and the same day, Trent and I started a romantic relationship after years of being friends. Unfortunately, John Palmer is booked for months so he recommended another therapist trained in Internal Family Systems, my favorite modality, and one which Trent is also familiar with. I’ll be sharing psychoeducation, things I’ve learned, things I knew but forgot.
Today’s realization was that for some women, anger presents as tears. I know that feeling! When you’re pissed and frustrated and screaming in your head, why am I crying? I look weak! I can see this happening in the workplace.
I so enjoyed our first session because we dove in deep right away, and the therapist, Goldie, gently and humorously challenged us. Many times, as a therapist receiving therapy, I feel like I’m not getting aha moments. Reflection and advice given I could give to myself and stay at home. To be a bitch about it/keeping it real.