
Do you find coloring leads you into a meditative state where any intrusive thoughts about your childlessness can’t interfere? Well, this book is not for you.

Document all those months where it’s you. Just you.

Count down the days until you’re over 35 and considered to be of Advanced Due Date with lower odds of IVF succeeding with this scratch-off calendar.

What could be a more tear-inducing way to make a baby announcement than presenting your mother-in-law with the letters for “Grandmother” in Morse code? Just get her another fucking scarf, like last Christmas.

Brimming with personal prompts, this nostalgic set of 40 cards is meant to be sent and shared between grandparents and their grandchildren to create meaningful and lasting memories. But, your parents will probably die before you get pregnant.

Don’t let’s get started on the onesies you could buy JUST IN CASE. Oh my GoSH, you could do cosplay for all your newborn photos, how cute would that beeeee?STOP IT. Focus on how most newborns are hideous, like this one. (Just kidding to whomever’s baby this is, I’m certain the baby behaves in a very cute manner which endears it to those it depends upon for survival .)