Panic! Vicki

Wow, these women couldn’t possibly be more annoying and inappropriate.  Don’t you know to get out of the way when EMS comes?  Icelandic doctors are too nice.  GTFO ladies.

Kelly and I agree that Vicki is having a panic attack because if you’ve never had one, you think you’re dying.  Vicki also went numb, the “crab hands” phenomenon.  The first time I had a panic attack, I was at work and not even feeling anxious, just chatting with my co-worker.  Then I felt weird, then I thought I may be having a heart attack, then I thought I was dying, then I thought I was going insane.  This is what a mental breakdown looks like and I’ll be trapped in my brain forever.  I kept asking what was happening and if I wad dying and no EMS would tell me.  In the hospital, with my PCP, everyone just said: we don’t know, arrhythmia.  It took years for me to figure out that was a panic attack.  So although I despise Vicki, she could very truly be feeling this is a life and death situation.  Someone should have given her some chocolate cake and a benzo.  Lol Meghan ordered her a casserole later.

See?  Brian Moylan: Vicki does not need prayers. She needs to throw up, take a Klonopin, and unclench for about seven seconds.


What in the actual fuck why

I tend to have panic attacks when I’m traveling, hungover, dehydrated and hungry.  All of which Vicki is experiencing from whooping it up.  Plus she may have insomnia from altitude sickness.


Kelly: you don’t know if you’re fine,  Vicki! You could have a heart attack.  Helpful.  Diagnosis: even Lydia thinks Vicki is bullshit.

Also Tamra peed herself laughing.  Pelvic floor physical therapy?  But she’s laughing at Peggy’s response to Kelly’s attacks, which Peggy does not appreciate.

Kelly: my trigger is people trying to control me.  That was my grandmother from my mother to Michael.

Yes, personality disorders are passed down.  Transgenerational trauma.  And you picked someone who was like the parental figures in your life who you have the most issues with.  But you can’t resolve those childhood issues with a husband diagnosed with NPD.


Katherine broke the news to me that Kelly AND Shannon were separating.  Also: tell us if you’re pregnant, Kardashians.

Someone who is TOO good at boundaries: Peggy straight up stops filming, doesn’t respond to annoying knocks on her door throughout the day, and ignores texts and calls, calling the 5am drunk cry laugh fest one of the worst nights of her life because Kelly Dodd.  They warned you.  Peggy is not ready for reality TV.

Oh my gosh, I just realized I’m living the spoonie life Vicki envies!  My emergency room visits involved morphine and referrals for surgery.  So many gluten-free acid-free casseroles coming her way.






Anime eyes for Totoro costume


Anime eyes with Rimmel white eyeliner under eyes and on waterline, Mark Jacobs blended gel eyeliner and Kat Von D tattoo liner applied 1 cm under actual lashline. Jane Iredale cream to powder eyeliner applied with Sigma E65 brush for lower lash illusion.  Those are not my lower lashes, just magical makeup.  Kiss Faux Mink lashes in Little Black Dress on top.

And for the first time in my life, I stuck them to my lashline and stayed (used Duo lash glue).  I didn’t need to blend them in with liquid eyeliner or have the inner corner wonkily standing up.  I will do a light style of  drag makeup to attend drag shows but I leave off lashes because they’re so annoying!  I received these lashes for free with the Sparkle Vox Box and I will be purchasing them again after their 10 uses.



This look used a cut crease where I used the Urban Decay Naked palette and more of the Jane Iredale liner.  I used Sigma E25 and E30 to line and blend.  Putting Revlon Photo Finish concealer on the eyelid after all the blending creates a clean line under the cut crease.

Here’s the tutorial I used:


We match!

My pets are really enjoying this look in bed with me.  (I did hand out candy with Katherine and her baby earlier so I’m not a total homebody.)

Halloween is my favorite


@badasscrossstitch on Instagram


Some stellar gaslighting coming from Trump: my campaign didn’t collude with Russia, YOURS did, Hillary.  Trump is the narcissistic ex you can’t get rid of who blames you when he’s forced to be accountable for his actions.  “I wasn’t cheating on you with a Russian oligarch; only a cheater would bring that up.  You must be cheating on me and now I’ll punish you for it!”

GF HelloFresh: October Week 4


Bahn mi burgers with carrot fries

GF: sub Udi’s bun




GF: sub Tamari sauce

Eating out!



Best GF cake I’ve had yet: German chocolate

I actually got glutened for the first time.  Indian takeout korma was supposed to have paneer and potatoes.  I started chomping away while watching Real Housewives of Dallas and then realized this was the familiar taste of a falafel, a beloved food item, which is odd in korma, and covered with fried breadcrumbs.  I never experienced headaches when I ate gluten before my diagnosis. But within 30 minutes. I couldn’t concentrate because the pain was overwhelming.  Celiac disease still real!



Discount code: NIMBUS

black-ish: postpartum mental health


“I guess this means I need to nurture this baby myself…by giving him as much skin to skin contact as possible.”

My little doula heart flutters.  This boy was raised well.  The older children jumping in to help around the house is sweet.  Like Diane writing bitchy thank yous for the baby shower gifts.

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) take many forms.


“But I don’t need this many potatoes!”

Are you perseverating over the temperature of the baby’s milk, your baby’s breathing?  Are you not sleeping when you can?  (That’s my red flag question.)  That’s a heightened amount of anxiety getting in the way of caring for yourself so you can be a nurturing mother.  Are you not connecting to your child and telling yourself you’re a horrible mother?

“I keep asking her but she keeps saying she’s fine.”  The dad, Dre, is confused about how to help and why this is randomly happening with their fifth child.  He tries a gentle, not-subtle approach of taking a postpartum depression quiz in a woman’s magazine together.  TOGETHER.  So it doesn’t single her out.  Crying a leetle.  And men get PMADs too.

“Question 17.  Do you think your baby is cursed?  Yes.”

As a doctor and person caught in the thick of their own depresssion, Bow is relucant to go, but Dre gently pushes an appointment.  His fix-it mentality is both helpful and a burden to Bow as not every issue needs to be solved by your partner.  “I feel so powerless.”

Lol at the psychiatrist refusing the magazine quiz for her records.  If you want to take the gold standard, which I give to all my clients, and then share your results with a medical professional because you cannot ethically interpret the results depending upon your profession…there’s the Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Scale (EPDS):

Psychiatrist: “Postpartum depression is a mood disorder and it’s not something you can just power through.”

Your brain chemicals need help!  Like if you developed a physical condition postpartum and needed antibiotics.  Yes, you can still breastfeed on medication.


Ooh, setting the boundaries with the in-laws and Dre backing his wife up.  Get healthy without all that noise!  Prenatally, I see the most fear around interfering parents and in-laws so I encourage both partners to agree on a postpartum plan for visitors and assistance.


Here’s some ignorant commentary you may hear:

“She’s weak.”

“It just sounds like…the baby blues.”

“Are you sure you want to leave her alone with that child?”

“Madeup disease”

“She’s doing drugs and nursing my grandson?!”


The episode was so textbook (not a complaint) that it should be required viewing for every childbirth class.


Cheryl Blossom aesthetic



Ruby spider brooch to lie under oath


I somehow made this outfit more seductive by covering more skin.


Subbing as a Pussycat


She installed flattering red lighting in her gym locker.



Riverdale’s take on The Bachelorette: The Machelorette


I hope the farm Polly is talking about having her baby at is THE Farm: